A Precious Life

Yesterday morning after receiving a rather shocking news about the sudden loss of Nat’s mother, I was so devastated that I couldn’t do nor say anything for a good one hour, just staring blankly at my computer screen. It was a combination of grief and utterly disbelief, not only because Nat is one of my close friends, but because up to three days ago, her mum is still well and healthy.

This unexpected tragedy makes me think about life, and how one cannot predict what will happen to our journey in this world, but yet we still take things for granted, say hurtful things to people we love, and do things we might regret.

To imagine how someone’s life can changed overnight is both terrifying and startling at the same time, and to have your loved one taken away from you forever is unthinkable. People say that time heals every wound, but I wonder how many sleepless nights you have to endure before finally accepting the reality and moving on with life.

To live is an awfully big adventure. There are some things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.

xoxo
Carol

The X files

In most relationships, the time to say goodbye usually arrives at one point or another; unless you intend to walk down the aisle, of course.

With your ex, you've shared memories that will either make you laugh or cry, and it's time to take your experiences, put them in your back pocket and move on. But somewhere on the road of parting ways couples feel the need to promise to stay friends, which ultimately leads to more broken promises.

Regardless of the break up situation we’re in, here’s the big question:

CAN WE BE FRIENDS WITH AN EX?

It is likely that most couple who got out of a clean break up stage will say YES and those who are involved in some kind of drama will vote a BIG NO, full stop.

I personally never thought of the idea on remaining friends with any of my exes and was kinda curious of the outcomes. So when one ex offered to develop a friendship after all was said and done, I accepted and put it to the test one afternoon to meet up with him for our first coffee session. Result: although it's clear that we both have moved on with our life but somehow over a general convo we're still caught up in some kind of argument before we chose to end it by dropping the subject off. Overall, the whole catching up thing and the idea of "let's be friends" was probably not my cup of tea. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not saying that people shouldn't keep in touch with their ex. That decision is entirely up to you. On the other hand, T one of my colleague has been friends with her ex for ages and confessed that it was the best decision ever. Now that she even consider him as one of her best friend and meet up with him once a week.

As far as Im concern, it is completely harmless to be friends with your ex as long as you live in present. Meaning both of you have moved on with your life,respect each other and decide what you can handle and comfortable with.

However, there may be a time when the friendship ends for good. Maybe you or your ex has gotten married. Or maybe you just don't have anything to talk about anymore. After all, not all friendships with exes last forever...

xoxo

Eve

The Age Factor

I often question myself on the subject of age when it comes to relationship and dating- Does age really matter? Interestingly, nine out of ten women that I asked said yes, age does matter, and nine out of ten men answered no to that same question.

For those men, their argument was that as long as the two of them are compatible, they don’t see why age should ever be a problem. I’ve seen a case where one of my close friends went out with a girl nine years his junior, and another guy friend of mine purposely hunt for older women, because according to him, older women are understanding, caring, and not so demanding.

As for my girls, almost all of them voted for older guys. This is probably something to do with the fact that women mature faster than men. Women need security and constant feeling of being loved, and according to my best friend Mrs A, only older guys can provide that, because younger guys generally have huge ego, selfish, and unpredictable.

Come to think of it, she does have a point; however I wouldn’t stick to that point of view and rule out the possibility of dating younger guys, because I’ve been with older as well as younger men, and trust me, sometimes the older one acts even less mature than the younger ones. I believe that character and upbringing play a bigger part more than age in a successful relationship, and after I mentioned it, most of my friends seemed to agree that age doesn't play such an important role afterall.

But how far will you go?

One of my good friends went to the extreme and is currently dating a guy twice her age. Shocking I know, but they look blissfully happy. As for myself, I do have my own limit. I don’t mind seeing a younger guy, but he needs not to be younger than my sister, because that is just intolerable.. =D

xoxo
Carol

Fly me to Neverland...

Being a 'lazy cow' is probably one of my favourite things to do on my day off. Very occasionally I get the time to relax and spend my quality time at home since my days off were filled with doctor's appointment, family gatherings, or other social event which quickly filled my weekend schedule for the past few months and left me exhausted on my rest day. So when I get this rare free time where I can just do nothing, I'd like to spend it "wise" by snuggle up in my doonas and stay in my warm bed while watching my favourite dvd: Peter pan the movie.

Starring as Peter Pan, Jeremy Sumpter who is incredibly gorgeous and good looking. I could just melt during the whole 90minutes. He was a very fine actor and just fit in with the character. I could not imagine any other actor plays peter pan as good as him. The story was somehow classic with a little twist, full of fantasy and unexpected scene. Interesting enough though, the chemistry between Peter Pan and Wendy was just so unbelievably real. I can go on forever talking about this movie. Thanks to my sister for getting me into this while I stubbornly refused to watch it in the first place because I thought it was some kind of kiddy movie but she forced me anyway and got me hooked to watch this movie for bloody 7 days straight! What a record....I feel like a little girl all over again!

ps: oh and if I was wendy, I will definitely stay in neverland....=)

xoxo

Eve

The Mind Games

Human are constantly playing games. We play hide and seek when we were kids, and as adults, we are no strangers to games either. At workplace for instance, we carefully plan a strategy to bring the enemy down (one type of a game I would say), however the most complex and well known is no other than the dating games.

Dating in the 21st century is proven to be much more complicated than it used to be. With increasing number of single people in their 20s and 30s, dating scene is not just about finding the other half anymore. With so many choices, it is up to us to keep the other party interested.

One of my guy friend (just call him N), believes that in order to keep a guy interested, girls should never show too much interest in the first place, because guys love the thrill of the chase. This statement is supported by another friend of mine, miss S, who deliberately declined a guy six times. The result? She managed to keep the guy chased her (and only her) for seven whole months. Although I am not entirely agree with her way, I must say that is pretty impressive.

Miss S explained to me that she needed to do that to test how serious a guy is with her, and eliminate those who aren’t so serious (point taken). On the other side, N also shared a tip, that in order to get a girl that he wants, a guy also needs to keep his composure and doesn’t appear “too available”.

With all those complications, how will we know if a guy is genuinely interested or just want to have fun? Only time will tell, because as far as I believe, guys are pretty straight forward. If he wants to be with a girl, he will do something about it, with or without the games.

Love it or hate it, the games are there to play. And in order to survive, you need to master some tricks and understand the rules. Tired? Tell me about it. However in a big city like Jakarta where single, beautiful people are everywhere, learning a trick or two might not be such a bad idea afterall…

xoxo
Carol

The Law of Stilettos

Shoes possess magic powers. At least according to UK journalist and shoes obsessive Paola Jacobbi, and I couldn’t agree more. Ever since Carrie Bradshaw and Sex and the City introduced me to the world of shoes, my life (and height) has literally changed. I started off with 4 cm heels, which soon towered to 7, and now I won’t settle for anything less than 12. It is an addiction, and the higher the heels, the more challenged I feel. I love the fact that it makes me appear taller and as cliché as it may sound, it does lift my mood, especially on Monday morning.

Whenever I passed a shoe store, it is always a constant fight not to look, but most of the time I ended up checking it out anyway, which could dangerously leads to unexpected buys. The other day my mum was rummaging through my collections and she found three almost-identical grey shoes. Sure she was not happy, but in my defense, the shoes are different models- one pair of pumps, one pair of peep-toes, and the other one is open-toes. Yes they are identical in colour, but still, they are totally different, and what can I say, I need them all.

For shoe-lover like myself, Australia is like heaven on earth, with wide selections of Australian designers such as Mollini, Zoe Wittner, and Robert Robert, showing off their latest collections on window displays, teasing every shoe-addicts that walk past. To my disappointment, I couldn’t find any Zoe Wittner or Mollini shoes anywhere in Jakarta, but luckily they still have Nine West and Steve Madden to cater my shoe-craves that kicks in once in a while.

My devotion to high heels often raise questions, especially from my colleagues at work who never see me in slippers walking around the office. The truth is, it is my belief that once you have mastered the art of running in high heels, you can rule the world

xoxo
Carol

Not quite Nigella

During my time in Perth, I have somehow fell in love with baking (to my mum’s delight), and after a few trials and errors, have successfully bake a number of cakes, muffins, and quiches. But my favourite one to make is cupcakes. I love the process of mixing the dough, anxiously waiting for it to rise, and the best part of all- decorating it. This is where I put the most effort in. Choosing between fresh cream and butter cream for the icing, tying ribbons around the cakes, and finding pretty ornaments to be put on top- I can go on and on with this…

Ever since I came back to Jakarta, it is very hard to find the time to bake, so when an event came up and there was an opportunity to make a dozen cupcakes, I volunteered myself. Now, the last time I made cupcakes in my Jakarta’s house was over a year ago, so to minimize the risk (and to make sure that our oven is still fine), I made the cupcakes the night before, and did the decoration the next morning.

I made vanilla cupcakes out of Nigella Lawson’s wonderful cookbook, and decorate it with pink icing and a combination of pink and white rose buds. Thankfully, my friends seem to like it and it is definitely worth the effort!

Vanilla cupcakes recipe
Ingredients:
125 g self raising flour
125 g very soft, unsalted butter
125 g sugar
2 eggs
Pinch salt
Few tablespoons milk

Preheat the oven to 200C, and line 12 bun muffin tin with paper cases. Beat the butter and sugar together, pour the eggs and flour, and add milk to bind. Using a spoon, fill the cake-cases equally and bake for 20 minutes or so, until cooked.

Once cool, we can start with the decoration. Here, I use icing sugar as fresh cream would melt easily in this humid weather. Just beat icing sugar, a little butter, a few tablespoons milk, and a drop of pink food colouring, pour it on top of each cupcake, and top it off with pretty rose buds.

xoxo
Carol